Sometimes learning requires repeated lessons. However, there
usually comes a time when déjà vu gets to be a little annoying. Here are some
tips to avoid taking another ride on the merry-go-round.
1. Recognize your patterns.
First and foremost, you have to recognize you're in a cycle.
We all know people who find themselves in the same situation even though the
names of characters may have changed. They complain with the same intensity as
if it’s the first time they're encountering it. Sometimes, you’re the person
with the same complaints you had 10 years ago. Do any of these sound familiar?
“People always treat me this way…”
“I never get to…”
As soon as you hear yourself say certain phrases, this
should trigger you to check your current status. You’re in a cycle. Don’t
blindly follow your well-worn path. Recognize and make a conscious break from
it.
2. Be accountable.
After recognition, the next step to changing anything is to
accept responsibility in the situation. Only when you do this can you make
empowering choices. To continually blame something or someone outside of
yourself holds you captive. What you are saying is that only they have the
power to save you. Accountability takes that power back.
You may not be directly responsible for a situation in which
you find yourself, but you are 100% responsible for what you choose to do from
that point forward.
3. Check your emotions.
When you’re in the depths of emotion, it’s hard to do
anything but be in that space. However, with practice, you'll catch yourself
earlier and earlier each time you feel yourself about to dive in. If not,
unchecked emotion will lead you right back to your original starting place.
This isn't about controlling emotions. They're useful and
shouldn’t be repressed. Emotions are signals that give you clues about your
deepest and often unconscious triggers. You have to peel back the layers and
find out what’s at the root instead of taking immediate action while you’re in
the midst of it. You have to step out of the vortex of emotion in order to step
up.
4. Extract the lessons.
Whatever the situation is, there's always something to be
learned from it. If you refuse to accept that, you almost guarantee that you'll
repeat the lesson. Just like in school, you must do the work before you are
allowed to advance.
5. Make a different choice.More often than not, we repeat cycles because we repeat the choices we’ve made in the past. Much of our behavior is automated, which means we tend to react to situations instead of thoughtfully responding to them.
When you start to evaluate circumstances through lenses of
clarity, you can begin to see and therefore, make unfamiliar choices. Those
decisions may be uncomfortable, but that willingness to stretch will present
new outcomes.
Your tomorrows don’t have to look like your yesterdays. With
concentrated effort you can break the spell of redundancy. Life is waiting to
present you with countless possibilities if that is your desire. Liberate
yourself.
About Author
Dr. F. Emelia Sam is an oral & maxillofacial surgeon by day and a soul-centered scribe at heart
Credits : mindbodygreen
About Author
Dr. F. Emelia Sam is an oral & maxillofacial surgeon by day and a soul-centered scribe at heart
Credits : mindbodygreen
