This past Sunday, while we were enjoying an afternoon
barbeque at our friend Sara’s house, her 16-year-old foster child, Cody,
received a visit from his biological mother – a woman who has been in and out
of prison and rehab her whole life. Although Sara was a bit reluctant about it,
she let them talk in the family room alone, and we eavesdropped from the
kitchen just to make sure everything was okay.
Cody’s mother was extremely rough around the edges and
almost immediately started bringing up hurtful memories from the past, and then
told him, “I wish I could go back in time and raise you again, to change who
you are and give you a better upbringing.”
Just as Sara was about to walk into the room to interject, Cody calmly
replied, “I’m perfectly fine, thank you.
I’m proud of who I am. Maybe you
should go farther back in time and change who you are instead.” And then he walked her to the front door and
politely asked her to leave.
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| Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. |
Cody’s response impressed me on so many levels. It takes a lot of courage, especially at 16
years of age, with a rough upbringing, to tactfully stand up for yourself. And he handled himself with grace.
So whenever you’re dealing with a difficult or hostile
person, remember how Cody handled himself.
Take a stand. This is your
life. You may not be able to control all
the things people do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. You can decide not to let their actions and
opinions invade your heart and mind. And
above all, you can decide whom to walk beside into tomorrow, and whom to leave
behind today.
It’s time to…
01. Stop letting people drag you into needless arguments. –
Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that
they are committed to misunderstanding you.
And don’t define your intelligence or self-worth by the number of
arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This
needless nonsense is not worth my time!”
02. Stop letting people drown you with their negativity. –
Positivity is a choice. Choose
wisely. Be smart enough to walk away
from the negativity around you… it is never worth your while, ever.
03. Stop letting people make you feel ashamed of your scars. –
Scars remind us that our past is real, and that we have grown beyond it. Every scar has a story. Don’t be afraid to tell it and own it.
04. Stop listening to those who berate you for your honest
mistakes. – To grow strong and wise, you must have the courage to make
mistakes. Allow yourself to be a
beginner. No one starts off being excellent.
05. Stop letting others blind you from YOUR truth. – Today, the
only person you should try to be better than is the person you were
yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself,
not others.
06. Stop letting people bully you. – Bullying is not OK. Period.
There is no freedom on Earth that gives someone the right to assault who
you are as a person. Sadly, some people
just won’t be happy until they’ve pushed your ego to the ground and stomped on
it. What you have to do is have the
nerve to stand your ground. Don’t give
them any leeway. Nobody has the power to
make you feel small unless you give them that power.
07. Stop letting friends be untrue to you. – What is a true
friend? Someone who loves you just the
way you are, but still inspires you to be a better person. BE a true friend to others, and keep only
true friends close to you.
08. Stop letting the same people lie to you over and over again.
– If someone fools you once, shame on them.
If someone fools you twice, shame on you. If you catch someone lying to you, speak
up. Some people will lie to you
repeatedly in a vicious effort to get you to repeat their lies over and over
until they effectively become true.
Don’t partake in their nonsense.
Don’t let their lies be your reality.
09. Stop letting people take advantage of you. – Sometimes
people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them. This is NOT right! Realize this.
You deserve better. You deserve
to be with people who make you smile – friends who don’t take you for granted –
friends who won’t leave you hanging.
10. Stop letting people treat you like a back-up plan. – Don’t
settle to simply be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or
sometime. If they can’t reliably be
there for you when you need them most, they’re not worth your time.
11. Stop letting the wrong people get between you and the right
ones. – Don’t let the people who refuse to love you keep you from the people
who do love you. Spend time with those
who make your world a little brighter simply by being in it. Someday you will either regret not doing so,
or you will say, “I’m glad I did.”
12. Stop letting hateful people motivate you to hate them back.
– As Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world
blind.” Regardless of how despicable
another has acted, never let hate build in your heart. Fighting hatred with hatred only hurts you
more. When you decide to hate someone
you automatically begin digging two graves: one for your enemy and one for
yourself.
13. Stop letting people leave grudges in your mind. – Remember,
the first to apologize is the bravest.
The first to forgive is the strongest.
The first to move forward is the happiest. Always.
14. Stop letting people use your past to poison your present. –
Life is too short to tirelessly struggle with old news and those who refuse to
let it go. Some people cannot stand that
you’re moving on with your life and so they will try to drag your past to catch
up with you. Do not help them by
acknowledging their behavior. Keep
moving forward. Practice acceptance and
forgiveness. Letting go of the past is
your first step to happiness.
15. Stop letting people convince you that change is a bad thing.
– The things we can’t change often end up changing us. This change happens for a reason. Roll with it.
It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
16. Stop letting people steer you away from meaningful pursuits.
– If you can smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. So don’t let other people get between you and
the ideas and activities that truly move you.
17. Stop letting people dump on your dreams. – Life will test
you to see how serious you are about pursuing a particular path. And sooner or later you may face negative
feedback from others. When this happens,
remember not to let anyone crush your spirit.
If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone
else thinks. That’s how dreams are
achieved.
18. Stop letting naysayers talk you out of putting in the extra
effort. – Hard times often lead to greatness.
Keep the faith. It will be worth
it in the end. The beginnings to great
things are always the hardest.
19. Stop letting people convince you of their quick-fix schemes.
– Anything worth achieving takes time and dedicated effort. Period.
Honestly, I used to believe that making wishes and saying prayers
changed things, but now I know that wishes and prayers change us, and WE change
things.
20. Stop letting people tell you that you need more to be happy.
– Thankfulness is the start of happiness.
Be sure to appreciate what you’ve got.
Be thankful for the little things in life that mean a lot.
About Author
This article was written by Written by MARC CHERNOFF. He’s a Passionate writers, admirers of the human spirit and full time students of life.
Credits : marcandangel
